Thankfully full bellies

The Bratscher family doesn't need to worry about going hungry. My amazing support team continues to astound me with their gifts of food. At least once a week, someone provides a beautiful meal and/or dessert for me and my family to enjoy.

We've had shepherd's pie, lasagna, a mexican casserole, raspberry/cranberry bread, rhubard compote, cinnamon bread, a (still warm) fruit cake, rice krispie squares, brownies, chocolate chip cookies and soup delivered with smiles and hugs to my home. (Please forgive me if I forgot something!)

I've even had a guest chef prepare a meal in my home with a sundried tomato and chicken pasta with cream sauce, caesar salad, macaroni and cheese, death by chocolate and apple crisp. Mmmm.

That's to say nothing about the lunches brought in from the London Life cafeteria (can you say carrot cake?) and the ones I've been treated to at restaurants with friends and family.

It's really a good thing that I've stopped worrying about my weight. Besides a healthy person with a little meat on her bones can tolerate the effects of chemo better than a skinny person (because if I don't feel like eating too much, I've got the stores to draw on and therefore I won't get too skinny). Who knew it would be a bonus one day?

I know my wonderful friends at London Life have a food schedule planned - and for that I'm enormously grateful. I know once I have the surgery, my cooking days are over for a little while. That's why I've frozen some of the food sent my way. Now Michael doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner - after taking care of me, the house, the kids, work, etc.

As much as I appreciate all of this, I feel guilty (I think it's due to my Catholic upbringing). And since I'm feeling good, the guilt is intensified. I feel there is no way I can repay everyone for the nice things they're doing for me. (And yes, I know I don't have to repay anyone but the feeling is still there). I feel I don't deserve all this kindness and support. It really is quite overwhelming.

But as my friend, Jodi, pointed out, people help because they want to do something to make things easier. Friends rally during sickness to support individuals and their families. Jodi went through this when her dad was sick. She told me she hoped the experience would make her more compassionate and understanding for someone else going through the same situation - and it has, because she's been amazing. In fact, so many people have been, and I know will continue to be amazing. I'm blessed to be surrounded by so many supportive people.

I know I have to let go of the guilt and realize people want and sometimes need to do something. As the individual with cancer, I have to fight alone and there's little others can do to directly help. But they can ease the stress, burden, sadness and loneliness of the fight - and you're all doing a great job.

Your thankful friend (who still feels guilty),
Tina